Menu for Tonite #2

Special tonite:

Capelli D'Angelo Bolognese

Housemates ku sekalian, diharapkan tidak pulang awal2 ye. Kite soru dulu.
My fella BK frens, do drop by.
Azambalakong, I'll save you a bowl.

p's: Just hope my mom won't ask me to send her to SP tonite.

haih...

what to do dis weekend??

nak jalan jauh2,kaki tempang
nak ajak rakan2 jalan, ramai ke kampung
nak shoppin2, aku busan

pejamkan mata......ku lihat HIJAU!

Malas cakap banyak...tengok sendiri la

Wishful Thinking

Busy tahap cipan. Last week, aku pergi kerja 2 hari jek. So this week, I’m totally swamped! I’m easily tired. But still, datang ilham nak maen masak2.

So many things happened and I still don’t have the chance to put up my feet and just chill. Maybe I don’t want that chance. Maybe I intentionally without fully realizing it, kept myself busy so that I don’t have to think bout things that has been engulfing me and those around me for quite some times. Maybe I don’t wanna know. But, it would be so much better if we all can just sit down and talk and clear things out and stop pretending!

Haih.. Wishful thinking.

Menu for Tonite #1

Special Tonite...

Lemon Rosemary Grilled Chicken
Garlic French Baguette
Mushroom Sup
Lettuce Salad

Harap2 jadi ler...hehehe

UPDATE: okeh menjadik...1st attempt. so agak xcomel la.tp rase tetap best..hahaha

Lemon Rosemary Grilled Chicken

Garlic French Baguette with Orange Zest

Aku dan Kawan

Tingkatan 4 Farabi... I was a new comer. First subject was English. And as my luck would hev it, I was the first to do public speaking. Hmmm…

‘Hi, I’m Cipan Cute. I’m new. Sila beri tunjuk ajar’

Haha..cam orang Jepun lak..Public speaking cakap Bahasa Penjajah la dol! OK. That’s beside the point. These guys had been together since Form 1. so they are pretty tight. Amalan Assabiyah masih kukuh di benak masing2. So, aku yang baru ni terkapai2 la until that moment. There was a girl, Barbie (Sumpah! Die macam Barbie, cume die rendah and very voluptious!) in that class. Anak dara somebody in government la. Quite fofuler! She saw me Speaking Bahasa Penjajah tersebut and decided she could be friends with me (erk?? die sendiri told me ok tho aku rase that was shallow!). Cian lak kawan aku yg newcomer yg kureng mahir berbahasa asing itu, lambat dapat kawan. Come to think of it, kejam dak2 sekolah ni kan? Well, back to the story. So, she started talking to me and got to know me. What I still remember quite vividly in mind was the day we were talking bout makeup and she told me her fave and I said I like Guerlain. And she was like;

‘Eh, I never thought anyone here would know bout Guerlain! Gurl, you quite cool eh’

And I was thinking to myself;

‘It’s just a brand, why such a fuss??’

From then, we were quite close. Because we were at the same level to a certain point. Got a lot in common. She wasnt quite the shallow gal I thought her to be. Jahat lak aku rase time tu...huhu... She is sweet. Intelligent. And we clicked instantly. Hey, jalan balik hostel pon pegang2 tangan. Haha… 1st time in my life. I liked her a lot! Hell, I loved her! We shared secrets and stuffs. Damn! I miss her siot!

Then in Form 5, I don’t know what went wrong, but we drifted apart. As I said, clicked but to a certain level. And that certain level was reached. I can’t ignore the way she feels about those guys yang admittedly xsememeh. Aku pon rase dorg xsememeh, but that is not an excuse to look down on them. And maybe she felt betrayed coz didn’t support her enough. Maybe...Maybe...What if...What if.... hmm... Wish I could make up for all the wrongs I've done. Sampai masuk matrik pon aku still thinking bout all these. It was so...hmmmm....unnecessary i guess. We could hev avoided it. But the fact stands.

Back to the story... Things got complicated. Until our classmate, Wary, asked me n Barbie to stay back after class and talk and be honest. We did and the problem was aired in open and we understood each other motives. It was a good thing we decided to agree with Wary coz things were clouded, blurry, with lots of talking behind, backstabbing, batu api oleh other classmates yg quite jealous with us. We forgive and forget. But things were never the same again. No matter how hard I tried to act normal, I just couldn’t pretend! But I ached for her and she for me. She even wrote me a letter to get back the way we used to be but…BUT… just through letters! I was sooo frustrated and felt so betrayed! Dalam surat jek? Ape kejadah! Alahai…macam budak2 lak kan. Hehe…

But I know I did things I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to. And she too had her share of blames. But we were young then, and we grew up to be different person. Our mind matured in different ways. Our values changed. Yes I was hard to go our own way. To be so close and yet so far.

Guess that’s why I never had a bestfriend since then.

...and I don’t believe in 1 either.

Aku and Astro...

Last night planned to cook but En.Balakong already left Kinrara, so I and DarkSky decided to eat out. The thing I hate ‘bout that is that if we can’t decide on where to go, we gonna end up at mamak…huhuhu… Nak pergi TGI, cam xbest jek kalau xberjemaah ramai2. Eit Cipan Oren, cepat la…kate nak blanja.

So after lepak jap depan TV, DarkSky pon arrived. I grabbed my wallet,phone, keys and everything that’s within my reach coz I don’t feel like slinging my bag tonite, and quickly went out. We decided to go to Piccadilly @ Dataran Millenium.

On the way, I showed him pamphlets on Samsung Mobile Phone Fair @ Astro. Really cheap dowh! But OK, he’s not interested. Then, somewhere along the way, I noticed a foreign object on the dashboard. I was lookin’ at it for a long time tryin’ to make some sense out of it. Unable to utter a single word, I just point at the object to DarkSky …..

‘awat chek? Nak p tukaq channel kt kedai makan ka?’
‘huwaaaaaa’

Die punya renggah gelak toksah nak cerita la. Sakit perot aku gelakkan diri aku gak. Adeh….punya la excited nak kuar makan sampai mende yang lagi panjang dr wallet aku pon aku rembat skali. The thing is, I switched on the light when I was showing him the pamphlets but never notice the darn thing...adeh makin tua kah aku??

To make the matter even more hilarious, my housemate, Insan a.k.a cipan parit, sms me at that exact moment and ask for the remote!

Even Briyani Maharaja with its scrumptious Chicken Curry, cooked with cashew nut and cream and taste like out of this world, garlic naan that is soft and crunchy @ the same time and Chicken Tikka marinated in special sauce, served with mint Sauce, cannot keep DarkSky from laughing @ me whenever we happened to glance @ the big screen..huhu

Just as we arrived in front of the house, my other housemate, saya_busan, sms and asked the remote whereabout too...

'Harharharrr...'

...another big laugh from DarkSky!

Crash Boom Bang! Jangan Ikut Jalan Hitam

M back! What a terrible week I had last week. Pretty gory experience I would say. Kan da cakap xboleh hepi sangat nanti nangis! Last Thursday started out as usual. I was looking forward to breakfast @ café as it was Loh See Fun day. So, following my usual routine, I cilok mencilok cos the traffic was bad dude! So after mencilok I stick to the fast lane. The traffic started to flow smoothly. It was 8.53am. still early maaa… so I just kept going at 60km/h. Then, the silver Honda Civic in front of me brake suddenly. I managed to stop in time (See.. I wasn’t speeding!). Then I look at the rear mirror and saw this Iswara just kept on coming and coming and I could see the driver’s face clearly! The Chinese lady was panicking! Then GEDEGANG! And GEDEGANG again. I was tossed to the front more than once from the impact, but luckily my seatbelt was fastened securely. And my thought was;

‘apsal la aku ikut lane nih sengal?!’

Then I started the engine, OK, my Bug still bernyawa. Then I tried to move the car to the side to avoid jam (baek sungguh aku, memang berhemah la). But the car wouldn’t budge! Macam ada resaksa ala2 hantu tinggi yang berbulu2 sedang memijak2 belakang kete ku itu, nak kate kazenku Dhar, die kat dalam kandang mahkamah. Huwaaa….. cian Tumblebug aku tu! I looked for my phone, which was thrown to the front floor along with several lighters (bila masa aku ada simpan lighter???). Macam2 barang aku jupa hahaha. I got out and check out my Bug’s bum. Huhuhu… the impact left it’s bumper to curve inward and that stop the tires from rotating… ooo…lega hatiku ini. Ingat kan dah berkecai. Then I saw that stupid woman’s car. It was smashed to smithereens ! HAHAHHAA..aku suka, padan muka ko dumb bitch!

Bug's Bum

Bug's Plate Missing in Action

Then the Honda Civic driver (Chinese lady too) came over. She agreed that I didn’t hit her first cos she saw me stopped. So it was obvious that that stupid bitch yang bersalah dalam ini gambar. As we were talking, I heard someone babbling… oo..rupenya ada mangsa ke4. An Indian lady driving a kancil. Sungguh muhibbah kami semua. hahaha....

Then I called Dark Sky;

‘Hello you, I accident! Uhuk’ konon manja la
‘ermm…ape?ZZzzzzzzzzz’

………erk!

So I move on.

‘Baaaaaa, accident’ wailing a bit to add the drama.
‘Manja ok?teruk ke?’ Haa..response camtu la yang kite carik. Of course la…die bapak aku.

So he instructed me on how to proceed. I hang up je, dah ada longkai, Pullman and yang sewaktu dengannya kat kawasan kejadian. Aik! Pantas siot! Sebijik cam dalam 360 yang aku and Insan watched the week before. He helped me move the car to the side. He even puji aku xpanic...ermm... Dalam hati aku agak gelabah sbb dalam mind aku pas tengok 360 kt TV3 tu;

Longkai+pullman=P****a+KongsiGelap(KakiPukul)

Tapi orang ramai time tu so aku relaxkan diri. After sume kete dah aleh ke tepi, aku nampak plate aku AEW 477 berkecai di atas jalan. Huhuhukk… tinggal A jek. Aku nak amek buat kenangan or suruh kawan aku beli number ni (3 nombor je. Boleh ke?) tapi aku kene langgar lak kang. Lagi naya. Dari kete je masuk spital, ngan aku2 lak masuk skali.

Then aku call misi_keamanan, tetapi die tengah ada misi di mahkamah. Then got a call from kakitangan. Cara die Tanya aku wat aku cuak lak… kete aku xhancur la..macam la ko xkenal misi_keamanan tu. Ahhaa.

Then after sweating over and dipujuk2 longkai Botak, Dark Sky arrived bersama Moskito. Lega la sikit. Then KakiTangan pon sampai. Naseb die ade, die la yang menjadi Kaki aku the whole day. Kire die jadi kakitangan aku la. Aku upah makan nnti k. hehehe

Panjang lagi la citer ni…nak citer sume ke StingRay??

Ba asked me to wait for the police to come and checked out the situation. Longkai Botak said no need as there were no injuries. But Ba being Ba, aku ikut jek. Then he told me not to follow those longkai. He’ll send tow truck from Tg. Malim to take the car to Police Station Tun H.S Lee then back to Tg.Malim, where my Tumblebug will get her XtremeMakeover. Hehe…

If ikutkan DarkSky, he wanted to send it to Puchong, workshop kawan barunya ‘Bro Botak’ hehe. Memang lagi mudah but I need to do the follow up. KakiTangan pulak suruh aku ikut cakap ayahku after berdiskas dgn misi_keamanan di mahkamah sana. Macho ah ko KakiTangan!

So me, DarkSky and KakiTangan je yang tinggal last2. Kaki aku dah berbelang from sunburn. We left the place around 11pm and went to Rishad. Nak tunggu tow truck Tg.Malim (cam lawak la…punya la byk tow truck kt KL ni). Risau gak kang Bug aku hilang tayar cos tinggal tepi jalan but tawakkal je. Cian lak aku kt kengkawan aku nak tunggu tepi jalan dengan aku nanti, sambil minum air bungkus yang KakiTangan offer nak beli... duduk bawah pokok tepi jalan. sambil di melihat kereta lalu lalang. menikmati angin sepoi2 bahasa dan asap kete.. ade macam Indon gak la.

Around 12pm, tow truck sampai and we went back o tempat kejadian. My Tumblebug yang cacat di ikat2 ke tow truck and aku excited amek gambar die. Hehe…ape daa…

DarkSky Overseeing the Process..Macho X?

Houston, we've got lift off! All Done

Dah settle, kami slowly bergerak ke Police Station Jalan Bandar. Kat balai polis, we followed the process. Time buat laporan agak funny cos ayat macam cib je. Who use motokar lagi nowadays??? Aku akhiri report aku dengan ‘ini aduan saya’ atas nasehat en KakiTangan. Then went to see Pegawai Penyiasat. He asked me;

‘berapa kali rase kene langgar’
‘2 3 kali gak la sebab saya rase kepala saya berdengung’ macam idgham maal ghunnah gak la..tambah aku dalam hati.

Soalan die sebijik macam bro Botak cakap polis akan Tanya. That shows that memang kete blakang yang hit aku dulu. Rationale nyer? Aku pon xtau…xsempat pikir.hehe. Then we went photographed the car. Got back inside the balai and amek salinan repot. All done around 3pm.

After that pulang. My car dah pulang dulu bersama tow truck. Xsempat aku mengucapkan selamat tinggal and sorry and kiss die get well soon…huwaaaa…. I’m sorry if I didn’t appreciate u enough before. I’m sorry for depriving u a good bath before, I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting your appearance. I’m sorry if I’ve been secretly admiring another car while stoppin’ at a red light. Yes, I may do all that but I want you to know, no matter what, you are still number 1! You r my ride babe! Cars come and go, but you are my Tumblebug! Muaaaxxx…Just hang on and we’ll get u all fixed up clean and nice!

DarkSky, thanks for being there and never leaving me alone and scared! U r like my solid rock!
KakiTangan, seriously thanks a bunch beb! I owe u 1 k.
Kepada kengkawan yang call and sms, thanks for the thoughts! Really appreciate it!

Thanks for the luv ya’ all.

Things Happen for Reasons...

p's: Sape2 warga Kinrara nak ke masjid bgtau aku eh. Ba suh aku hantar pisang ke pape ke sedekah... tanda syukur nekmat.

Kushi (Happiness)

Cipan Happy

Alhamdulillah…. Tu je aku mampu ucapkan ketika ni.

Just got back from a brief meeting with boss. My appraisal result is ready. Got a lil bit increment and 4 months backdated performance bonus. Now boleh la aku setelkan segala hutang kete kt my dad and clearkan balance Gold Visa aku hahaha macam bagus lak…bukan apa... My Dad da bising tu. Then aku nk terminate card tu. Then kalo terdesak cmne? Haa...tu la guna adenye laki, bukannya totally the opposite. Hidup perlu bijak..hahaha... biler mase aku berlaki tah.

So…dah ade rezki lebih ni, moga2 aku rajin menyimpan. Nak kawen dowh! Hahaha… Find a nice guy (agak2 cam dah jupe jek keke) and settle down, raise a family and be happy hopefully. I’m so damn lucky! Don’t cha think so?

Muat 1 MPV (err...dog xde la...)

No wonder yesterday aint got the mood to work. So I MC and just chill at home smpai terlebih chill…hahaha…aku suke! Best experience to date!!!!! Then I went out to a Chinese Muslim restaurant @ KJ. Sedap dowh die punya Ying Yong. Aku sebat jek. Then went to Cineleisure and watched Coming Soon, a Thai ghost story. Seram gak especially part Chaba kene gantung. When you r happy and you watch a ghost movie, you wont get the eerie feelin’ coz u r just too damn happy! Dah brapa kali aku mention happy ek??

Biler dah terlebih happy, sok lusa aku menangis la ni…tp xpe. Asalkan aku happy today!

I was sooo happy the whole day. Now I’m happy too…



…Sbb aku nak shopping and hev a nice dinner and just bask in the glory of the happiness!!!! yeahaaaa

Hectic Weekend

What a peculiar weekend I had. Started off with a trip to Genting on Friday night. Ape yang di cari di atas sana malam2 buta pon xtahu. But sume sporting enaf so up we went. Melepak di cerun2 gunung, memperlihatkan ketahanan diri melawan rasa sejuk yang menusuk2 setiap liang roma yang terdedah. Sedang kusyuk melepak, melihat2 bintang2 di langit sambil ada yang berangan2 untuk melastik2 bintang tersebut (by the way ape salah die?), suddenly a shooting star appeared for like a moment or two. But it was enaf to warm up my heart.

I love stars… when I was a lil gurl, I used to talked to the stars. In fact my name means ‘My Star’ in Arabic (nothing to do whatsoever with My Star LG!). So no wonder aku pon berseri2 bagai kan bintang kejora hahahaa… We went back @ 4am. I was so lalok, I nearly slept all the way back.

Saturday, went to Curve with friends and at watched midnight show of ‘Jangan Tegur’… huhu…boleh la..dunno lak that if people were possessed they turned blue. Kalo orang choked ye la tp kene rasuk pon cmtu…apa daaa…agak r sket. Dah la ada 1 scene kat hospital tu, hantu tu terbang macam baru dapat lesen L...alahai...sedih aku tengok.

Sunday, went to KL Book Fair @ PWTC… haha…1st time in my life. Got myself 3 novels @ the price of 2. So now I can go back to my old habit… reading and just chill it. But yang tak boleh blah buku yang kawan aku beli…err…yang aku tolong belikan untuk die actually…hehe… Beb, ko memang pandai menghiburkan hati aku. Then we went for dinner @ Naili’s Place, Sentul. Yummy2… nak post gambar, all the pics taken were using my friend’s camera… so sowi. Maybe next time.

So…terhibur la sikit hati yang sedang lara ni…. A mixed up emotions in a short weekend.

This Ain't a Love Song

Suddenly...all I can think of listening is this song...always been a fave of mine, yet the meaning never really dawn on me...that is, until now...*sigh

I should have seen it coming when the roses died

Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes

I should have listened when you said good night

You really meant good bye

Baby ain't it funny how you never ever learn to fall

You're really on your knees when you think you're standing tall

But only fools are know-it-alls

And I've played that fool for you

I cried and cried every night

There were nights that I died for you baby

I tried and I tried to deny it

that your love drove me crazy baby

If the love that I got for you is gone

If the river I've cried ain't that long

Then I'm wrong yeah I'm wrong

This ain't a love song

Baby I thought you and me would

Stand the test of time

Like we got away with the perfect crime

But we were just a legend in my mind

I guess that I was blind

It made me so mad 'cause

I wanted it bad for us baby

And now it's so sad that whatever we had

Ain't worth saving

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong

Is the reason that I'm holding on

Then I'm wrong Yeah I'm wrong

This ain't a love song

Ilham Tiba...

Just got back dari Theaterette 1. Bukan dari Studio 1 cm kat Astro Ria tu tho dekat2 je. Today, AJK Surau Astro (yes, Astro ade surau OK) invited Ust. Farhan. He’s a convert. Used to be a high ranking priest back in Borneo. His father was the chief priest for 12 churches there. Now he’s a Tahfiz. Took him 2 years and 8 months to memorize the entire Al-Quran. Aku? Dah 26 tahun, bace Yasin pon kadang2 ke laut… the place is full with only a couple of people were standing. Yang menghairankan, last week, HR held a roadshow at the same place, to talk about new pay system, I couldn’t squeeze in pon. Packed, jammed, and crammed. Tp ape nak hairan… ASTRO… where half the fun is off the screen. Macam2 adaaa….

So, back to the story. Ust. Farhan talked about the challenges he faced, what need to be done propagate Islam and how to stop the threat of apostasy. Then he talked about mencari ketenangan… merah jap muka aku bile die cakap ‘ nak ketenangan , dok kt pantai buat ape? Tenung2 apa? Cari2 apa? X datang tenangnya…’ hahaha… so true. Kadang2 kite tanpa sedar terikut2 cara orang… baiklah aku dok umah baca Quran… memang aku lalai…

So I got me a new resolution. Hope this time I’ll stick to it. Semoga Allah beri kekuatan kepada aku.

I Wanna Run To You

I know that when you look at me

There's so much that you just don't see

But if you would only take the time
I know in my heart you'd find
A girl who's scared sometimes
Who isn't always strong
Can't you see the hurt in me?
I feel so all alone

Each day, each day I play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night I come home and turn the key
There's nobody there, no one cares for me
What's the sense of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean?


I need you here
I need you here to wipe away my tears
To kiss away my fears
If you only knew how much...


I wanna run to you
Won't you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm
I wanna run to you
But if I come to you
Tell me, will you stay or will you...
....run away?

UPDATE Friday 12pm: Run Away...definately....macamla xtahu lg

Tekanan...tekanan...

Tekanannya hidup hari ni… Cam nak lari jek... Tp ke mana time pocket tgh kering kontang bagaikan musim La Nino walaupun negara dilanda adik pompuannya Nina…

Feels like goin’ to movie tonite. Alone. Sola. Akele. Maybe that way I’ll be calmer. I’ll be able to sort out my life. Maybe I could find a way to the root of the mystery as to why am I being such a shrew these days. *sigh… Hate it when this mood datang balik. Baru je 2 hari lepas I felt like walking on the moon, damn happy as a clam. Seriously happy like I’ve never felt in years! Everything was rosy and sweet and soo right. Then skang or last nite to be exact, suddenly aku rasa cam howling like mad. Buruk laku tol la…

I’m sick. Sick to the core. Some people make me even sicker!

He's Just Not That Into You

Off again yesterday. *sigh… just don’t have the motivation to go thru the Monday blues.. went to movie instead! He’s Just Not That Into You. Got ticket for the premier last week but I didn’t go cos I’ve only 1 ticket! Aku belum sampai tahap tengok movie sorang2 OK. Tho it may be fun…but I’d rather go with someone. Hmm…. I don’t wanna go thru all the movie details. I’m more interested to mengupas isu yang diketengahkan. I think every woman should watch this movie. It’s kinda wake up call you know. Knock, knock, reality check please. Hehe..

Here’s the story in a nutshell. It’s from a book with same title by Greg Behrendt (Sex and the City) and Liz Tuccillo.

Chapter 1: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out. Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons, needs to take things slow, he will let you know immediately. He won't keep you guessing because he'll want to make sure you don't get frustrated and go away. Don’t let him trick you into asking you out. Men, for most part, like to pursue women. An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship." You are good enough to be asked out.

Chapter 2: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You

Men know how to use the phone. When you like someone, they just don't slip your mind. You know they mean it when they actually do what they said they were going to do. Men are never too busy to get what they want. If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs. You deserve a fucking phone call!

Chapter 3: He's Just Not That Into You Is He's Not Dating You

"Hanging out" is not dating. A man who's really into you is going to want you all to himself. Better than nothing is not good enough for you! If you don't know where the relationship is going, it's okay to pull over and ask. There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone he's your boyfriend.

Chapter 4: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex With You (Boleh Skip or translate into he’s having a secret affair Haha)

When men like you, they want to touch you, always. If a man is not trying to undress you, he's just not that into you. If you're tempted to spend countless nights just cuddling with someone, buy a puppy. There's someone out there that does want to have sex with you, hot stuff!

Chapter 5: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex With Someone Else ( same goes to this chapter)

There's never going to be a good excuse for cheating. Cheating doesn't just "happen". It was planned and executed with the full knowledge that it could end your relationship. Cheating is a complete betrayal of trust. 100% of guys polled said that they have never accidentally slept with anyone.

Chapter 6: He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants To See You When He's Drunk (Thankfully kite not having this problem or change it to If he's having a prob or in dilemma and nobdy else yang nak layan dia)

If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired. It doesn't count unless he says it when he's sober. Drinking and drug use are not a path to one's innermost feelings. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.

Chapter 7: He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want To Marry

Love cures commitment phobia. Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you. If you don't feel like you're rushing, why are you waiting? There's a guy out there who wants to marry you.

Chapter 8: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up With You

"I don't want to go out with you" means just that! Always be classy. Never be crazy. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one. Breakup sex means you're still broken up. Cut him off. Let him miss you.

Chapter 9: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disapppeared On You

Sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself. There's nothing worse than having no answer. No answer is your answer. Don't give him the chance to reject you again. There's no mystery-he's gone and he wasn't good enough for you.

Chapter 10: He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married (And Other Insane Variations Of Being Unavailable)

If you're not able to love fully, it's not really love. He's married. Unless he's all yours, he's still hers. Don't be that 'other' girl. tak baek kacau rumah tangga or hubungan orang..isk isk...

Chapter 11: He's Just Not That Into You If He's A Selfish Jerk, A Bully, Or A Really Big Freak

If you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy. So if he doesn't do those things then... You are the catch! Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with…


It’s true women (not all but most of ‘em) are brought up with a unique notion of why things happened. We tend to dissect each and every tiny lil things to find some meaning in it that we can relate to, and usually it meant what we want to believe. That’s why we clashes with men. If a man doesn’t call after a fun nite out, we dished out every excuse we can think of why he didn’t call like ‘Maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab!’. Whereas the most obvious reason why he didn’t call is he is just not that into you… or in some cases, he is just not into you anymore… you know, like ‘ it’s been great I think we should take time off from each other and find out what we really want’. Err... I think I’ve used that line before… and be given a derivative of that line too… haha

We hate rejection (who doesn’t?!) and that’s why we came out with thousands reason that wont hurt us as bad. Sometimes we even blame ourselves for not treating him good or whatever, so that it’ll be like he didn’t walk out cos he want to, but we made him to. Haha... Complex creature we are. One of the guy in that movie said that, if a man doesn’t call, he don’t want to. If a man is interested, he’ll make it happen, he’ll find that woman, whatever it takes.

So, if a man doesn’t want you…move on. Don’t blame on every excuse you can find. It’s pathetic and a great disservice to all women in the world. Plenty of fish out there you know… open up your options. But please don’t hookup with a guy on false pretenses. It is just ain’t right.

P’s: Someone really should sue Disney for making us believe there is happily ever after, love at first sight and all those crap ‘bout love… Watching that movie ada terasa macam 'kelepek terkena muka tuan director' hahaha

Hati Rindu

Masa berganti masa

Hatiku tidak lupa

Terbayang di ruang mata

Wajah mu datang menjelma

Mengapakah aku kau goda

Merana sepanjang masa

Meskipun hatiku rindu

Ingatkan waktu yang lalu

Tetapi itu hanya mimpi

Tak akan menjelma lagi

Ku rasa alam nan sepi

Menangis aku menanti

Terkenang semasa dulu

Hatiku merasa rindu

Mungkinkah dapat bertemu

Pada mu cahya mataku...

1 Litre of Tears

Off yesterday. Dunno why I apply for leave. I just felt like, I’ve had enough. I need a break. I need to break away from the Monday routine; like holding my breath everything I heard Mr. Kongkiak mentioned AFC or Celestial, or the rush of blood going up to my brain at a dizzying speed everytime the phone displays PARS-Regional Playout (tho the engineers there are cute but still…..) I’m soo bored and tensed. How come a person is bored and tense @ the same time I have no idea but that’s the way I feel. 2 years is getting far too much for me… it’s getting on my nerves. Aku taknak la sampai dapat nervous breakdown sebab keje. Dah la kerja yang tak memberi manfaat kepada umah manusia kecuali kawan2 aku yg suke tengok The Naked Chef (especially yang GAY!)… huhu tapi Jamie Oliver memang hot pon. What the heck am I babbling about…

Sedang aku berperasaan demikian, aku menonton 1 Litre of Tears ( Ichi Rittoru no Namida ) at Celestial Movies (can’t remember what channel it was tho I’m handling that channel….buduh) . I’ve watched this movie before. 3 years back I think. Memang berliter2 air mata aku keluar tengok cite ni… It is a heart wrenching, heartrending, tear jerking, poignant story about a girl Aya Kitou, fighting a degenerative disease. The movie was based on her diary, which was published after her death. It just got me thinking, if a person like that can still keep on fighting, how come a healthy kembang-mekar-harum-subur-di-hati like me can’t stop whining and complaining and wallowing in self-pity evertime something went wrong?

Kite sentiasa down bile dibenggu masalah cinta, masalah kewangan, family problems, pain in the arse bosses and so forth, but we still have the chance to make amend, to fight and control our life. It’s not like we are dying, fighting for our very own existence, fighting the unseen disease that’s eating away our nerves and bodily function. It’s not like 1 day we went to bed only to wake up the next morning with our legs unable to move, and then the next day it is hard for us to utter a single syllable…

In her diary, Aya wrote;

‘I wonder where happiness is.I wonder what happiness is.’

‘Why can't I laugh naturally like I used to? I want to go back to the past!I wanna make a time machine and ride it to go back to the past. Watch myself run, walk, roll around, and play with you... but then I come back to reality.Do I really have to come back to reality?I don't wanna grow up!Time...please stop! Tears...stop falling!’Ahh...Aya just can't seem to stop crying.

‘If it weren’t for this disease, I might even be in love. I want to cling to someone’s arm so badly.’

‘Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don't even have the right to dream. As I think about the future, the tears will come out again.’

‘I really don't want to say things such as "I want to go back to how things were before". I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on.Even though I have been hurt before by those heartless glares this also helped me to understand that around me, there still exists some gentle glares. Therefore, I definitely won't run away. That's what I'll do. Definitely. Always.’

‘Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing.’

Berjurai2 air mataku jatuh mengalir. Membawa keinsafan yang kadang-kadang payah untuk menebusi kepala batuku ini. So looking at her struggles, my problems seem to be so miniscule….

Kita yang boleh bercinta, sia-siakan cinta. Tercari2 yang lebih baik. Tak pernah cukup kan. Sedangkan ada manusia di luar sana yang hidup sendirian, tiada berteman. Teridam-idamkan teman bersama di kala senang dan susah, tawa dan duka.

Life is full with problems and hardships. We struggle constantly. Sometimes we win but other times; life gets the better of us. There’s only so much we can do. Other than that, let nature take its course.

Hidup penuh ranjau…tapi sekurang-kurangnya kita masih hidup bukan!

My Lil' Miss Sunshine

Stingray, your post yesterday made me miss my niece so damn much! Thank goodness I'm goin' home this weekend...

Introducing the most gedik, the most talkative, the most sexy lil' gurl ever...

Nick Name : Too many...hari2 tukar nama. Tp she loves Puteri the most

Age: 7

Ambition: Modelling while practising Meds (mak die cakap kalo jd model tp tak pandai xcukup seksi. So die pon menurut kata2 maknyer)

Status: In relationship - with 2 boys (having a hard time deciding who is better... Every week she'll keep me posted on her bf probs)

10 Sad Songs Pt1

From morning till now, I’m crackin’ my head to come up with a list of sad, depressing songs that I just love! Dunno why I love these type of songs.. Maybe I am naturally a sad person. Lagipon what’s there to be damn happy about? Sometimes that happy, optimistic, bubbly song just gets on my nerves! Hehe… sometimes je la just like @ the moment coz i'm a lil' melancholic... Here are the 10 songs that I feel like crying when I hear ’em. Actually there are more, like hundreds more, but these that came to mind right away;

1: My Immortal – Evanescence
‘There’s just too much that time cannot erase’
‘I tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone but though you’re still with me, I feel alone long ago…’

2: My All - Mariah Carey
‘If it’s wrong to love you , Then my heart just won’t let me be right, Cause I’ve drowned in you, And I won’t pull through without you by my side’

3: Foolish Games – Jewel
‘In case you fail to notice, in case you fail to see, this IS my heart, bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees’
‘And these foolish games are tearing me apart. And those thoughtless words are breaking my heart. YOU’re breaking my heart’

4: Uninvited - Alanis Morrisette
‘But you, you’re not allowed. You’re uninvited’

5: Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
‘You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain’
‘I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty. Because of you I am afraid’

6: Yesterday - The Beatles
‘Yesterday, all my troubles seem so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay’

7: Hurt - Christina Aguilera
‘I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do. And I've hurt myself by hurting you’

8: Everytime - Britney Spears
‘At night I pray that soon your face will fade away’

9: Without You – Mariah Carey
‘No I can’t forget tomorrow when I think of all my sorrow. When I had you there but then I let you go’

10: Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler
‘Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark. Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart’

When I have the time maybe I’ll continue with the list and make a new one on most romantic or most soppy or most rockin’ or whatever…