Aku dan Kawan

Tingkatan 4 Farabi... I was a new comer. First subject was English. And as my luck would hev it, I was the first to do public speaking. Hmmm…

‘Hi, I’m Cipan Cute. I’m new. Sila beri tunjuk ajar’

Haha..cam orang Jepun lak..Public speaking cakap Bahasa Penjajah la dol! OK. That’s beside the point. These guys had been together since Form 1. so they are pretty tight. Amalan Assabiyah masih kukuh di benak masing2. So, aku yang baru ni terkapai2 la until that moment. There was a girl, Barbie (Sumpah! Die macam Barbie, cume die rendah and very voluptious!) in that class. Anak dara somebody in government la. Quite fofuler! She saw me Speaking Bahasa Penjajah tersebut and decided she could be friends with me (erk?? die sendiri told me ok tho aku rase that was shallow!). Cian lak kawan aku yg newcomer yg kureng mahir berbahasa asing itu, lambat dapat kawan. Come to think of it, kejam dak2 sekolah ni kan? Well, back to the story. So, she started talking to me and got to know me. What I still remember quite vividly in mind was the day we were talking bout makeup and she told me her fave and I said I like Guerlain. And she was like;

‘Eh, I never thought anyone here would know bout Guerlain! Gurl, you quite cool eh’

And I was thinking to myself;

‘It’s just a brand, why such a fuss??’

From then, we were quite close. Because we were at the same level to a certain point. Got a lot in common. She wasnt quite the shallow gal I thought her to be. Jahat lak aku rase time tu...huhu... She is sweet. Intelligent. And we clicked instantly. Hey, jalan balik hostel pon pegang2 tangan. Haha… 1st time in my life. I liked her a lot! Hell, I loved her! We shared secrets and stuffs. Damn! I miss her siot!

Then in Form 5, I don’t know what went wrong, but we drifted apart. As I said, clicked but to a certain level. And that certain level was reached. I can’t ignore the way she feels about those guys yang admittedly xsememeh. Aku pon rase dorg xsememeh, but that is not an excuse to look down on them. And maybe she felt betrayed coz didn’t support her enough. Maybe...Maybe...What if...What if.... hmm... Wish I could make up for all the wrongs I've done. Sampai masuk matrik pon aku still thinking bout all these. It was so...hmmmm....unnecessary i guess. We could hev avoided it. But the fact stands.

Back to the story... Things got complicated. Until our classmate, Wary, asked me n Barbie to stay back after class and talk and be honest. We did and the problem was aired in open and we understood each other motives. It was a good thing we decided to agree with Wary coz things were clouded, blurry, with lots of talking behind, backstabbing, batu api oleh other classmates yg quite jealous with us. We forgive and forget. But things were never the same again. No matter how hard I tried to act normal, I just couldn’t pretend! But I ached for her and she for me. She even wrote me a letter to get back the way we used to be but…BUT… just through letters! I was sooo frustrated and felt so betrayed! Dalam surat jek? Ape kejadah! Alahai…macam budak2 lak kan. Hehe…

But I know I did things I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to. And she too had her share of blames. But we were young then, and we grew up to be different person. Our mind matured in different ways. Our values changed. Yes I was hard to go our own way. To be so close and yet so far.

Guess that’s why I never had a bestfriend since then.

...and I don’t believe in 1 either.