Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Clouded Judgement?

Is it bad for your mental health to watch those sweeter-than-honey romantic love stories, melodious love songs and happily-ever-after romance novels? Will it cloud your mind with surreal notion of love and happiness? Does it ever hurt anyone?

Hmm..a friend told me once, I’ve watch too many of these movies and been reading too much of romance novels....most of the times I’m sarcastic, feet-firmly-on-the-ground type of person. But there are times when I really got lost inside the books and sometimes the lyrics of the song I listened to. And if the right movie came along, I just floated for days…Just like I did back in early 90’s after I watched Pretty Woman and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (the Kevin Costner one)… not that I believe it, just that it feels good to see good-triumphant-over-bad.. Geez.. I was so optimist back then. What have changed me? Duuh…

Rite now I’m listening to soft, sweet, melt-in-your-ears kind of song..hehe..dunno why, but a song can make me happy when there’s nothing to be happy about. I really do feel the elation if the right song is playing softly in the background. Not intrusive but inviting, enveloping me with warm, till my toes tingles… I know, you must be thinking I’m nuts. But that really do happened.

And a song can stopped me cold! Transporting me back to the past, engulfing me with chill and misery till I suffocate, and choking with the heaviness in my heart. It was dark and full of anguish. Usually those songs are the linked to my past. Not that I hate those songs, sometimes I just torture myself, listening to them all over again. Sometimes I really do believe I’m addicted to pain.

And books…hmm…books are 1 of my most treasured possession. I’ve been reading those 400++ pages thick novels since in form 1 and got hooked till now. I’ve read thousands of them! I can be considered as voracious reader..hehe…But unfortunately, I rarely got the time to read anymore huhuhu.. Reading gives me more pleasure than watching movies…in books you can really lost yourself into it. Immerse in it till you really feel like you are actually living the experience. Every moves, every feeling is fully conveyed. That’s what I love bout it.

But..somehow, I’m affected by all these.. If not why I’m still hopeful, still not giving up, still clinging to the absurd notion of love and happiness….? Hmm…maybe I should ponder more on this subject.

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